Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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