but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize