yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
