My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's shark week go big or go home
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
