he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
