we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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