you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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