Don't you send me to vm
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize