I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize