have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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