I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
