somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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