hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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