put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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