I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I wish I only lived at night.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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