he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
