I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
