I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
