THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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