I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
