she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
