I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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