Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she was so not down for the gang bang
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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