Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
