you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
