hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
