yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
