I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Everclear isn't food dammit
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
