I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think my moral compass just broke
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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