they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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