If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
