Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
