So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
