It's Friday. Sex?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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