omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
