My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
