He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
