If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
