did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
