I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
