Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
