Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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