You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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