I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize