put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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