Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
