Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
