Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
