Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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