Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
