all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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