just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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