how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize