Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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