Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Naked. naked and bneed help.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
