Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
