You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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