he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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