Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
