You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
