where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
