your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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