she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize