I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
