Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
