It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
cat food counts as protein by the way
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
