whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
