Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize