i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize