Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
