pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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