he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
