Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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