Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I deserve this hangover.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
