I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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