I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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