don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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