Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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